Sarga 15

Vairāgya Prakaraṇa · On the ego (ahaṅkāra) (21 verses)

Sarga 15 at a glance

Śrī Rāma's speech continues: on the ego (ahaṅkāra).

1. The ego, false and born of delusion, is the source of all calamity, anguish and desire: "the ego is my disease" (1.15.1–1.15.6).
2. Rāma's resolve: "I give up the ego… I am not Rāma… like a Jina, I wish to rest in the Self" (1.15.7–1.15.11).
3. Images of the ego as cloud, forest, lion and lustful rogue, stringing births on the thread of craving (1.15.12–1.15.17).
4. When the "I" is wiped away, all anxieties go with it. Yet Rāma still grieves, and asks: "teach me" (1.15.18–1.15.21).

Reflections: recognising ahaṅkāra

Where the ego lives. Ahaṅkāra does not belong to the senses (इन्द्रिय), nor even to the mind (मनस्). It belongs to the faculty of knowing: it is a mistake in how one knows oneself. That is why sense-objects can be given up by willpower, but the ego cannot — the will that tries to drop it is itself held by the ego. What loosens it is a sincere wish to be free of it, and the grace of Īśvara (see 1.15.7).

The independent doer. With ego, a person becomes an "independent doer": "I did this, by myself." He does not want to share the doership with others, nor with God. The ego's very nature is to over-remember one's own doership (कर्तृत्व) and to forget Īśvara.

No real ground. One knows very little, and does not know a great deal. There is nothing special to stand on, yet people keep building the ego up for no reason — मुधा, "for nothing", as 1.15.1 says. Even a beggar has it: "I am the senior-most beggar here." It hides even in service: to boast of a "best volunteer" award is ego dressed as सेवा, though the whole point of seva is to wear the ego away.

Marks of one ruled by ego (अहंकारी):

• He does not easily accept anyone, and cannot bear to see another as great — least of all in his own field.
• He resists (spurns others, finds fault), insists (is stubborn), and asserts (keeps pressing his own view, closed to others', giving them no value).
• He cannot have a guru, for that needs surrender (समर्पण).
• He worries a great deal. Doership breeds worry, and he cannot merge into anything larger. There is no Īśvara in his life: he may do pūjā and japa, but finds no joy in them; he finds his joy in himself. He is full of himself.
• He cannot say "sorry".
• He often keeps away from people, because he keeps clashing with them. He is not in solitude; he is lonely. Yet the ego is chiselled away only in the company of others. If he stops speaking to someone, it may be for life; with strong views and strong opinions, much of his time goes in resisting inwardly. Slowly people leave him — and the greatest loss is that he shuts out Īśvara too.
• He cannot receive much love, so he demands it, as if love were his right; and when it does not come, he turns against the one he expected it from.
• He compares himself with others and tries to appear special and superior — because inwardly he is displeased with himself, and inwardly poor (दीन).

The Gītā names the same traits among the "demonic" qualities: दम्भो दर्पोऽभिमानश्च क्रोधः पारुष्यमेव च — hypocrisy, arrogance, conceit, anger and harshness (16.4); and it begins its list of what knowledge means with अमानित्वमदम्भित्वम् — humility, freedom from pretension (13.7). The remedy Rāma shows in this sarga is to cultivate an allergy to the smell of ego (see 1.15.4).

Verse 1.15.1

श्रीराम उवाच ।
मुधैवाभ्युत्थितो मोहान्मुधैव परिवर्धते ।
मिथ्यामयेन भीतोऽस्मि दुरहंकारशत्रुणा ॥ १.१५.१ ॥

मुधा एव मोहात् अभ्युत्थितः (arisen from delusion, for nothing) मुधा एव परिवर्धते (growing for nothing) मिथ्या-मयेन दुर्-अहंकार-शत्रुणा (by this false enemy, the wicked ego) भीतः अस्मि (I am afraid).

Translation: Śrī Rāma said: "I am afraid of this enemy, the wicked ego, made of falsehood — born of delusion for no reason, and growing for no reason."

Pointers for Reflection:

• अहंकार — the ego, the sense of "I". The subject of this sarga. Rāma has moved from outer things (wealth, life) to the inner root of suffering.
• मिथ्यामय — made of falsehood. The ego is not evil because it is strong, but because it is false. It claims a reality it does not have.
• मुधा एव — "for nothing". The word means "in vain, without any reason". The ego arises out of delusion for nothing and keeps growing for nothing: there is no real ground for it. Its nature is to over-remember one's own doership and to forget Īśvara.
• Gītā 3.27: अहङ्कारविमूढात्मा कर्ताहमिति मन्यते — deluded by ego, one thinks "I am the doer".

Verse 1.15.2

अहंकारवशादेव दोषकोशकदर्थताम् ।
ददाति दीनदीनानां संसारो विविधाकृतिः ॥ १.१५.२ ॥

अहंकार-वशात् एव (only because of the ego) विविध-आकृतिः संसारः (the many-formed world) दीन-दीनानाम् (to the most wretched) दोष-कोश-कदर्थताम् ददाति (gives a treasury of faults and misery).

Translation: "Only because of the ego does this many-shaped world give the poorest of the poor a treasury of faults and miseries."

Pointers for Reflection:

• The ego as the source. Not the world, but our identification with a separate "I" makes the world a cause of suffering.

Verse 1.15.3

अहंकारवशादापदहंकाराहुराधयः ।
अहंकारवशादीहा त्वहंकारो ममामयः ॥ १.१५.३ ॥

अहंकार-वशात् आपदः (calamities come from the ego); अहंकारात् आधयः आहुः (mental anguish, they say, from the ego); अहंकार-वशात् ईहा (desire from the ego); अहंकारः तु मम आमयः (the ego is my disease).

Translation: "Calamities come from the ego; mental anguish, they say, comes from the ego; desire comes from the ego. The ego is my disease."

Pointers for Reflection:

• अहंकारो ममामयः — "the ego is my sickness". Rāma diagnoses himself. This is a decisive step: he now knows where the problem lies. He speaks as one who has felt its blows.
• अहंकारवशादापदः — calamities come from the ego. The great epics bear this out. Kaikeyī's ego — her refusal to accept Rāma's coronation — set the Rāmāyaṇa's sorrows in motion; Duryodhana's ego, his refusal to accept the Pāṇḍavas' share, brought on the war of the Mahābhārata. At root, ego is non-acceptance. Kṛṣṇa's warning to Arjuna: अथ चेत्त्वमहङ्कारान्न श्रोष्यसि विनङ्क्ष्यसि — but if, out of ego, you will not listen, you will perish (Gītā 18.58).
• Gītā 2.71: विहाय कामान्यः सर्वान्पुमांश्चरति निःस्पृहः । निर्ममो निरहङ्कारः स शान्तिमधिगच्छति ॥ — one who gives up all desires, lives free of longing, without "mine" and without ego, attains peace.

Verse 1.15.4

तमहंकारमाश्रित्य परमं चिरवैरिणम् ।
न भुजे न पिबाम्यम्भः किमु भोगान्भुजे मुने ॥ १.१५.४ ॥

मुने (O sage), तं परमं चिर-वैरिणम् अहंकारम् आश्रित्य (resorting to that ego, my oldest and greatest enemy) न भुजे (I do not eat) अम्भः न पिबामि (I do not drink water) — भोगान् किम् उ भुजे (how then could I enjoy pleasures)?

Translation: "Since I depend on the ego, my oldest and greatest enemy, I cannot eat or even drink water — how then could I enjoy pleasures?"

Pointers for Reflection:

• तं परमं चिरवैरिणम् — "my oldest and greatest enemy". The ego is not a passing fault but an enemy of long standing, older than this life.
• Why Rāma will not eat (1.10.11). न भुञ्जे, न पिबामि — "I do not eat, I do not drink water". Not a vow, but revulsion: out of fear of the ego, he cannot enjoy anything while the ego is the one enjoying it. See how much the ego pains him.
• The mindset of a seeker. Śrī Rāma is showing the attitude to cultivate: an allergy to the ego, a recoil from its smell, as one recoils from something rotten. One who feels this does not make peace with the ego.

Verse 1.15.5

संसाररजनी दीर्घा माया मनसि मोहिनी ।
ततोऽहंकारदोषेण किरातेनेव वागुरा ॥ १.१५.५ ॥

संसार-रजनी दीर्घा (the night of worldly existence is long); माया मनसि मोहिनी (illusion in the mind is bewitching); ततः (therefore) अहंकार-दोषेण (by the fault of ego) किरातेन वागुरा इव (like a hunter's net) [वयं बद्धाः] ([we are caught]).

Translation: "The night of worldly existence is long, and illusion bewitches the mind. Through the fault of ego we are caught, as in a hunter's net."

Pointers for Reflection:

• माया. The word appears: illusion that bewitches. The ego is the hunter who spreads the net of māyā.

Verse 1.15.6

यानि दुःखानि दीर्घाणि विषमाणि महान्ति च ।
अहंकारात्प्रसूतानि तान्यगात्खदिरा इव ॥ १.१५.६ ॥

यानि दुःखानि (whatever sorrows) दीर्घाणि विषमाणि महान्ति च (long, harsh and great) [सन्ति], तानि (they) अहंकारात् प्रसूतानि (are born of ego), अगात् खदिराः इव (as thorny khadira trees from a mountain).

Translation: "All the long, harsh and great sorrows are born of the ego, as thorny khadira trees grow from a mountain."

Pointers for Reflection:

• Thorns from the mountain. The ego is the soil from which every thorny sorrow grows.

Verse 1.15.7

शमेन्दुसैंहिकेयास्यं गुणपद्महिमाशनिम् ।
साम्यमेघशरत्कालमहंकारं त्यजाम्यहम् ॥ १.१५.७ ॥

शम-इन्दु-सैंहिकेय-आस्यं (Rāhu's mouth to the moon of peace) गुण-पद्म-हिम-अशनिम् (frost and thunderbolt to the lotus of virtues) साम्य-मेघ-शरत्-कालम् (autumn to the cloud of equanimity) अहंकारं (the ego) अहं त्यजामि (I give up).

Translation: "I give up this ego — the eclipse that swallows the moon of peace, the frost and thunderbolt to the lotus of virtue, the autumn that scatters the clouds of equanimity."

Pointers for Reflection:

• Rāma's resolve: "I give up the ego." A decisive declaration. But can the ego give up the ego? The teaching will address this paradox.
• Karṇa: a warning. The ego eclipses peace and withers virtue even in the noble. In the Mahābhārata (Udyoga Parva) Kṛṣṇa himself takes Karṇa aside and pleads with him at length to join his brothers — and Karṇa will not yield. Generous, brave and learned, he was still held by pride and old resentments, and it cost him everything.
• How it goes. Not by willpower, since the will itself is the ego's. Keep at least the wish to give it up, sincerely and steadily; then, by Īśvara's grace, it falls away. Rāma's "I give up" (त्यजाम्यहम्) is that wish, spoken aloud.

Verse 1.15.8

नाहं रामो न मे वाञ्छा भावेषु न च मे मनः ।
शान्त आसितुमिच्छामि स्वात्मनीव जिनो यथा ॥ १.१५.८ ॥

न अहं रामः (I am not Rāma); न मे भावेषु वाञ्छा (I have no desire for things) न च मे मनः (nor is my mind on them); जिनः स्व-आत्मनि इव यथा (like a Jina in his own Self) शान्तः आसितुम् इच्छामि (I wish to sit in peace).

Translation: "I am not Rāma. I want nothing from things; my mind is not on them. Like a Jina, resting in his own Self, I wish only to sit in peace."

Pointers for Reflection:

• न अहं रामः — "I am not Rāma." An astonishing statement. Rāma rejects his own name and identity, the very ego-self. Compare 1.10.43, न चैवाहम्, "nor am I".
• जिन — the Jina. A "conqueror", the title of the liberated teachers of Jainism (and also used of the Buddha). The Yoga Vasiṣṭha names the Jaina ideal of peaceful self-abiding as Rāma's model. Here the synthesis of traditions is explicit in the text: Advaita drawing on Jainism.
• शान्त आसितुमिच्छामि — "I wish to sit in peace". Śrī Rāma longs to be meditative, to rest within — a mark of the sādhaka. The wish to meditate and the wish to drop the ego arise together.
• Gītā 6.10: योगी युञ्जीत सततमात्मानं रहसि स्थितः — the yogī should constantly unite himself with the Self, staying in solitude.

Verse 1.15.9

अहंकारवशाद्यद्यन्मया भुक्तं हुतं कृतम् ।
सर्वं तत्तदवस्त्वेव वस्त्वहंकाररिक्तता ॥ १.१५.९ ॥

अहंकार-वशात् (under the sway of ego) यत् यत् मया भुक्तं हुतं कृतम् (whatever I have enjoyed, offered or done) तत् तत् सर्वम् अवस्तु एव (all of it is unreal); अहंकार-रिक्तता वस्तु (freedom from ego alone is real).

Translation: "Whatever I have enjoyed, offered or done under the sway of ego — all of it is unreal. Only freedom from ego is real."

Pointers for Reflection:

• भुक्तं हुतं कृतम्. Compare 1.2.30 (हुतं दत्तं गृहीतम्): the same acts done by the free bring liberation; done by the ego, they are unreal. The act is the same; the doer is different.
• अवस्तु — unreal, futile. Here it means "senseless, worthless": whatever is enjoyed, offered or done for the ego comes to nothing in the end.
• वस्त्वहंकाररिक्तता — a key phrase. "The real thing is the absence of ego." The essence (वस्तु) is egolessness. A concise statement of the whole teaching, worth remembering.
• True freedom. Freedom from ego is the only real freedom; every other "freedom" is slavery to the ego, disguised as freedom. Rāvaṇa had every power and pleasure the three worlds could give, and was a slave to his ego from first to last.

Verse 1.15.10

अहमित्यस्ति चेद्ब्रह्मन्नहमापदि दुःखितः ।
नास्ति चेत्सुखितस्तस्मादनहंकारिता वरम् ॥ १.१५.१० ॥

ब्रह्मन् (O sage), अहम् इति अस्ति चेत् (if there is an 'I') अहम् आपदि दुःखितः (then I suffer in misfortune); न अस्ति चेत् (if there is not) सुखितः (I am happy); तस्मात् (therefore) अन्-अहंकारिता वरम् (egolessness is best).

Translation: "If there is an 'I', I suffer in misfortune; if there is not, I am happy. So egolessness is best, O sage."

Pointers for Reflection:

• Simple logic. The "I" is the one who suffers. Remove it, and who is left to suffer? A deep teaching in a single line.
• But what remains? If not the ego, what is? The teaching will answer: the Self, which never suffered (1.1.1, 1.1.2).

Verse 1.15.11

अहंकारं परित्यज्य मुने शान्तमनस्तया ।
अवतिष्ठे गतोद्वेगो भोगौघो भङ्गुरास्पदः ॥ १.१५.११ ॥

मुने (O sage), अहंकारं परित्यज्य (having abandoned the ego) शान्त-मनस्तया (with a peaceful mind) गत-उद्वेगः अवतिष्ठे (I remain free from agitation); भोग-ओघः भङ्गुर-आस्पदः (the flood of pleasures rests on what is perishable).

Translation: "Having given up the ego, O sage, I would remain with a peaceful mind, free of agitation. The flood of pleasures rests only on the perishable."

Pointers for Reflection:

• Peace through egolessness. Rāma glimpses what freedom would feel like: शान्त, peace, and गतोद्वेग, freedom from agitation.

Verse 1.15.12

ब्रह्मन्यावदहंकारवारिदः परिजृम्भते ।
तावद्विकासमायाति तृष्णाकुटजमञ्जरी ॥ १.१५.१२ ॥

ब्रह्मन् (O sage), यावत् अहंकार-वारिदः परिजृम्भते (as long as the cloud of ego spreads) तावत् तृष्णा-कुटज-मञ्जरी (so long the blossom of the kuṭaja plant of craving) विकासम् आयाति (blooms).

Translation: "As long as the rain cloud of ego spreads, O sage, the flowers of craving bloom, like kuṭaja blossoms in the rainy season."

Pointers for Reflection:

• Ego and craving. The ego is the cloud; craving is the flower it waters. Sarga 17 will be about craving (तृष्णा).

Verse 1.15.13

अहंकारघने शान्ते तृष्णा नवतडिल्लता ।
शान्तदीपशिखावृत्त्या क्वापि यात्यतिसत्वरम् ॥ १.१५.१३ ॥

अहंकार-घने शान्ते (when the cloud of ego has subsided) तृष्णा नव-तडित्-लता (craving, a new streak of lightning) शान्त-दीप-शिखा-वृत्त्या (like the flame of an extinguished lamp) क्व अपि अति-सत्वरं याति (vanishes somewhere very quickly).

Translation: "When the cloud of ego has passed, craving, like a fresh streak of lightning, vanishes at once, like the flame of a lamp blown out."

Pointers for Reflection:

• Nirvāṇa as blowing out. The image of a lamp extinguished is the literal meaning of निर्वाण. When ego is gone, craving goes out like a flame.

Verse 1.15.14

अहंकारमहाविन्ध्ये मनोमत्तमहागजः ।
विस्फूर्जति घनास्फोटैः स्तनितैरिव वारिदः ॥ १.१५.१४ ॥

अहंकार-महा-विन्ध्ये (in the great Vindhya forest of ego) मनः-मत्त-महा-गजः (the mind, a great rutting elephant) घन-आस्फोटैः (with loud trumpetings) स्तनितैः वारिदः इव (like a cloud with thunder) विस्फूर्जति (roars).

Translation: "In the great Vindhya forest of ego, the mind, like a great rutting elephant, roars with loud trumpetings, like thunder in a cloud."

Pointers for Reflection:

• Mind as elephant. The ego is the forest; the mind, the wild elephant that roams in it. Sarga 16 will turn to the mind itself.

Verse 1.15.15

इह देहमहारण्ये घनाहंकारकेसरी ।
योऽयमुल्लसति स्फारस्तेनेदं जगदाततम् ॥ १.१५.१५ ॥

इह देह-महा-अरण्ये (here, in the great forest of the body) यः अयं स्फारः घन-अहंकार-केसरी (this mighty lion, the dense ego) उल्लसति (sports), तेन (by it) इदं जगत् आततम् (this world is spread out).

Translation: "Here, in the great forest of the body, roams the mighty lion of the ego; by it this whole world is spread out."

Pointers for Reflection:

• The ego creates the world. Not physically, but experientially: the world as "my world" is spread out by the ego. A key idea the teaching will develop.

Verse 1.15.16

तृष्णातन्तुलवप्रोता बहुजन्मपरम्परा ।
अहंकारोग्रखिङ्गेन कण्ठे मुक्तावली कृता ॥ १.१५.१६ ॥

अहंकार-उग्र-खिङ्गेन (by the fierce lecher, the ego) तृष्णा-तन्तु-लव-प्रोता (strung on the fine thread of craving) बहु-जन्म-परम्परा (the long series of many births) कण्ठे मुक्ता-आवली कृता (has been made into a pearl necklace for the throat).

Translation: "The ego, like a lustful rogue, has strung the long series of my births on the thin thread of craving and hung it around my neck like a necklace of pearls."

Pointers for Reflection:

• The necklace of births. Compare 1.3.10 (the body held by vāsanā like pearls on a thread) and Gītā 7.7 (all things strung on the Lord like pearls). Here the thread is craving and the one who strings is the ego.

Verse 1.15.17

पुत्रमित्रकलत्रादितन्त्रमन्त्रविवर्जितम् ।
प्रसारितमनेनेह मुनेऽहंकारवैरिणा ॥ १.१५.१७ ॥

मुने (O sage), अनेन अहंकार-वैरिणा (by this enemy, the ego) इह (here) पुत्र-मित्र-कलत्र-आदि-तन्त्र-मन्त्र-विवर्जितम् (a [net] against which there is no remedy or spell — sons, friends, wives and so on) प्रसारितम् (has been spread).

Translation: "This enemy, the ego, has spread here a net — sons, friends, wives and the rest — against which there is no charm or remedy."

Pointers for Reflection:

• Attachment's net. Relationships become bonds through "mine". Compare Daśaratha's love for his son (Sarga 8).

Verse 1.15.18

प्रमार्जितेऽहमित्यस्मिन्पदे स्वयमपि द्रुतम् ।
प्रमार्जिता भवन्त्येते सर्व एव दुराधयः ॥ १.१५.१८ ॥

अहम् इति अस्मिन् पदे स्वयम् अपि द्रुतं प्रमार्जिते (when this word 'I' is wiped away, even by oneself, quickly) एते सर्वे एव दुर्-आधयः (all these grievous anxieties) प्रमार्जिताः भवन्ति (are wiped away).

Translation: "When this word 'I' is wiped away — even by oneself, and quickly — all these grievous anxieties are wiped away with it."

Pointers for Reflection:

• One erasure, all erased. Remove the "I", and every anxiety that depended on it disappears. The teaching is radical and simple.
• मार्जन — wiping clean (compare 1.3.6, 1.11.4). Freedom as cleaning, not as acquiring.

Verse 1.15.19

अहमित्यम्बुदे शान्ते शनैश्च शमशातिनी ।
मनोगगनसंमोहमिहिका क्वापि गच्छति ॥ १.१५.१९ ॥

अहम् इति अम्बुदे शान्ते (when the cloud called 'I' has settled) शम-शातिनी (destroying peace) मनः-गगन-सम्मोह-मिहिका (the fog of delusion in the sky of the mind) शनैः च क्व अपि गच्छति (slowly vanishes somewhere).

Translation: "When the cloud called 'I' settles, the fog of delusion that destroys the mind's peace slowly drifts away."

Pointers for Reflection:

• Sky of the mind. The mind is pictured as sky (गगन), naturally clear; the ego is a cloud, delusion a fog. When they clear, the sky remains. This is the Yoga Vasiṣṭha's favourite image of consciousness (चिदाकाश).

Verse 1.15.20

निरहंकारवृत्तेर्मे मौर्ख्याच्छोकेन सीदतः ।
यत्किंचिदुचितं ब्रह्मंस्तदाख्यातुमिहार्हसि ॥ १.१५.२० ॥

ब्रह्मन् (O sage), निरहंकार-वृत्तेः (though my disposition is now without ego) मौर्ख्यात् (from foolishness) शोकेन सीदतः मे (to me, sinking in grief) यत् किञ्चित् उचितं (whatever is fitting) तत् इह आख्यातुम् अर्हसि (please tell me here).

Translation: "O sage, though I now lean towards egolessness, I am still sinking in grief through my own foolishness. Please tell me whatever is right for me."

Pointers for Reflection:

• Rāma's honesty. He knows the ego is the problem; he wants to be rid of it; and yet he still grieves. Knowing is not yet being free.
• The first direct request for teaching. Rāma asks the sage to tell him what to do.

Verse 1.15.21

सर्वापदां निलयमध्रुवमन्तरस्थमुन्मुक्तमुत्तमगुणेन न संश्रयामि ।
यत्नादहंकृतिपदं परितोऽतिदुःखं शेषेण मां समनुशाधि महानुभाव ॥ १.१५.२१ ॥

महा-अनुभाव (great-souled one), सर्व-आपदां निलयम् (the home of all misfortunes) अध्रुवम् (unstable) अन्तर-स्थम् (dwelling within) उत्तम-गुणेन उन्मुक्तम् (abandoned by the best qualities) अति-दुःखम् अहंकृति-पदं (the very painful state of ego) यत्नात् न संश्रयामि (I strive not to take refuge in); शेषेण (as for the rest) मां समनुशाधि (instruct me).

Translation: "Great-souled one, I strive not to take refuge in the ego — the home of every misfortune, unstable, dwelling within, empty of all good, full of pain. As for the rest, teach me."

Pointers for Reflection:

• A closing verse in a longer metre (vasantatilakā).
• Arjuna's surrender — Gītā 2.7:
  • शिष्यस्तेऽहं शाधि मां त्वां प्रपन्नम् ॥
  • I am your student; teach me, I have taken refuge in you.
  • Arjuna says शाधि मां; Rāma says मां समनुशाधि. Both crises end in the same words: "teach me". This is the moment the student formally asks the teacher.
• The theme of the Lord as student, in action. The Lord, as student, asks to be taught.